Tension

The moment you are in TENSION

You will lose your ATTENTION

Then you are in total CONFUSION

and you'll feel IRRITATION

This may spoil your personal RELATIONS
Ultimately, you won't get COOPERATION

And get things into COMPLICATION

Then you may raise CAUTION.

And you have to take MEDICATION
Why not try understanding the SITUATION

And try to think about the SOLUTION

Many problems will be solved by DISCUSSION
Which will work out better in your PROFESSION

Don't think this is a free SUGGESTION

It is only for your PREVENTION

If you understand my INTENTION
You'll never come again into TENSION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and remember onething , this poem is my INVENTION

Santa singh in KBC

*** Kaun Banega Crorepati ***
We have our famous friend Santa Singh qualifying for the hot seat.( He pressed the buttons by accident and managed to qualify).
Amitabh Bachchan : OK Santa I congratulate you for this opportunity here with us.Santa : Oh ji Wahe guru da khalsa wahe guru di fateh. Chak denge phatte aaj. Tusi start karo ji.
AB : OK Santa this is your first question for 1000Rs. - 'Which state has the largest sikh population ?' and your options are :A. PunjabB. PunjabC. PunjabD. PunjabSanta : Oh ji how much time do I've to answer this question
AB : Samay ki koi pabandhi nahi hai Santa ji, you can t! ake your timeSanta (giggles) : Sir ji tricky sawaal puchha hai aapne. I would like to use my lifeline.
AB : I'm not surprised on this , which one wud U like to use.Santa : Audience poll
AB : OK audience please be ready with your voting pads, and your time starts now.After a minute we have a graphic presentation on the board.A. 25%B. 25%C. 25%D. 25%
AB : Santa ji, this is a no good situation for you, I can share your disgust here.Santa : Yeh mere saath hi kyon hota hai. Fasa diya Sirji aapki audience ne. I think I've to use my second lifeline - 50 50.
AB : Very good ! 50 50 ka istemal karna chahenge. OKcomputer ji do galat jawab mita diye jayen.Computer displays A. Punjab and C. PunjabSanta : Badi chalu machine hai aapki sar ji. Mein chodoonga nahi aaj isko.Wahe guru de kasam mereko third life line bhi chahiye.
AB : Kamal hai Santa ji, I must congratulate you, You have record of using all the lifelines in the very first question.This is great OK phone a friend - kisko phone karna chahen ge aap.Santa : My one and only one... mera langotiya yaar., Banta Singh.
AB : OK Banta ko phone lagaya jaye.Phone rings. Banta picks it 'Hulloooooo, kon hai oye adi raati,???'
AB : Hello Banta ji , mein Amitabh Bachhan bol raha hoon Star Plus ke Kaun Banega Crorepati se.Banta : OOOOOOOOOO Bachan ji Sasriyakal, koi hor hota to uski to mein.... #_^_%_#_%_%_&. Ki hal chal he sar ji.
AB : Mein thik hoon Banta ji, par ye ek family show hai is liye aap apshabdon ka prayog na karen to behtar hoga. Aapke dost yahaan bethe hain mere saath aur.................Banta (Interrupts) : Aur wo sala pehle hi question pe atak gayahoga, khota hai sala. Sawal pucho ji.
AB : Aapko sirf tees second .,.............chaliye mein aapko special case karte hue 1 minute doonga. Aur aapka samay shuru hota hai aab.Santa : Oye bante ke ho raya hai yaar ??Banta : Oye ullu de dum, saale bahar se taala laga gaya khote. Sawere dud wala aaya si, paise mang raya si, aur khotya tu meri kameez pehen gaya. Sale chakki se aata lana tha, tera baap layega kya ??.
AB: Santa ji kya kar rahe hain samay khatam ho raha hai.Santa : Yes Yes. Oye chod use yaar question hai ..... (he tells him the question).Banta : Saalesari zindagi tere nakal mar ke fail hota raha hoon, par iska answer mujhe aata hai. Kalank hai tu Punjab ke naam pe. Iska answer Punjab hai lallu.Santa : oye par ......... (and the clock stops).
AB : Samay khatam, aapke mitr ne jawab de diya hai , ab to mujhe pakka confidence hai ke aap kam se kam 1000 to le ke jayenge hi aaj.Santa : Ullu ka patha hai ji, ye to mujhe bhi pata hai par sale ne yeh to batya nahin ke A hai ya C hai.
And this was the last episode of KBC as most of the audience died laughing...

Smart answer

A Project Manager working in a MNC, as usual after lunch goes to the cafeteria for coffee.
He relaxes in canteen. He sees a canteen boy cleaning tables there. so he decides to have fun with him. He calls him.
Project Manager - (Asks canteen boy) : How much do you earn?
Canteen boy smiles...
Project Manager - what are your future plans?
Canteen boy keeps quiet...
Project Manager - where do you see yourself 10 years down the line?
Canteen boy gives a cold stare.
Project Manager - Jab mai Bangalore aaya tha tab mere paas bhi kuch nahi tha.... Aaj mere paas kya nahin hai... naam hai, shohrat hai, paisa hai.... tumhare paas kya hai?

Canteen boy - Sa'ab mere paas kaam hai....